A year and 3 months later…

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{random picture of beans to entice you to read this post}

I wasn’t exactly sure how to start this back up… “Stuff that happened in 2014″ or “While I was out” seemed too… well I guess it indicates that someone was paying attention. And… I think it that knowing no one is caused me to always sway back and forth between the decision “to blog… or not to blog?” I realized over the last year (and 3 months) while my blog was down that, I really missed it! I’ve never been the upcoming blogger who shares my posts on Facebook trying to get my friends to read what college-smart opinion I have. I take the whole, “write like you speak” approach way too far. And I don’t have a system, blog schedule or specific topic or goal in mind.

I just like to blog.

And I decided that is enough reason to continue it. I need something I can do that is truly a hobby. When I sing, it’s not just for the enjoyment of singing… It’s all serious and it’s my school! And let’s be honest, cleaning is not a hobby no matter how much I enjoy it. I’m not a crafter, fashionista, photographer, graphic designer or a “creative.”

I’m Nerdy Peacock.

And quite frankly, there’s nothing quite like that out there.

So to my future self and possibly only reader, hello. March 10th was a great day. {Yes, March 10th} I’ve had insomnia so ignore the March 11th date stamp ;)

Welcome 2014!

It’s crazy to think 2014 has already arrived. It just almost sounds weird and “apocalypsey.” However, as much as it sounds like it doesn’t even exist, it is here. It is now. And so am I.

Some of the most humorous NY posts are, “new year, new me” and “{insert previous year here} had some up and downs but… ” As my best friend said, “Really, you can change yourself overnight? Because I have a lot of things to work on and that would really save me some time” and what year doesn’t have ups and downs? Isn’t that called life?

All typical making fun of people aside, it is nice to see friends and family having some drive, passion and desire to change and work on making themselves better people. Even if it only lasts a few days, months or {for those people we envy} the whole 365, the excitement of new a year is something to be cheery about.

For me, a I had a wonderful time reflecting on 2013. I will spare you and do 13 highlights as opposed to 2013. ;)

  1. I was in my first “opera” {Amahl and the Night Visitors}
  2. Auditioned and Transfered universities
  3. Completed INSANITY
  4. Got my own car, Gershwin
  5. Dyed my hair red
  6. Wore leggings as pants
  7. Purchased TOMS
  8. Saw the West Side Story Broadway tour
  9. Became a Legacy Lady
  10. Did my first hair show
  11. Realized how much I LOVE my major
  12. Watched chick flicks and liked them. And admitted that.
  13. Met some freakin awesome people and made some of the best friendships ever.

In an arithmetic way I will sum it up by saying: it was a great year. So I hope you have some wonderful memories to treasure about this past year, think of some ways to improve, your ups and downs of life and find a way to be a “new you” this 2014.

Happy New Year.

just be more.

It’s been almost exactly a month since school started. Getting back into the swing of things, figuring out how to manage the new semester and trying to remember everyone’s names. Yep, it’s sophomore year.

So far it has been a bit of a ride. I have a some-what heavy load. Trying to juggle a job that I have overworked myself at. And am in the midst of considering a transfer. To put it simply, I am a tad bit overwhelmed.

Part of my feelings are attributed to my perfectionist peacock self. I am all too hard on myself and want to do really well at everything I attempt. I have no desire to be told “that was great” or “good work.” The only thing I don’t respond  negatively to myself with is excellence. And…since I rarely achieve that, I am more-often than not overwhelmed, frustrated, disappointed and want to give up.

Then starts this rut of being of being like the majority of people trying to do better, be more, aim higher, and achieve more. This brings me to write about a man named Sean Kouplen who I heard speak at a student ministry last night.

He talked about all of those people in our lives that seem to just have it together. They are happy, they are doing what they love, the seem so, “put together.” So he interviewed them on a quest to find out what their secret was. He shared the five things that they all have in common, and I would like to share them with you:

More and More

  1. Develop a clear vision of who you want to be
  2. Commit to being the best in everything we do
  3. Focus more on others and less on ourselves
  4. Be more grateful for what we have been given
  5. Believe the best is yet to come

So with that, I ask that join me to “#bemore” as Sandi Karkowski would say. Write these on your mirror or window. Every morning think of who you want to be, do your best, focus on other, be grateful, and believe that the future is bright.

Don’t be perfect. Just be more.

CHEERS!
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Visit Sean Kouplen’s website here to learn more about his story and his book! 

*The five steps to being “More and More” are from Sean Kouplen’s sermon given at Elevate in Broken Arrow, OK on September 12, 2013. 

 

 

In the Crook of a Steinway

Steinway & Sons My college auditions are over, and what a great experience they were. My first time to stand on a stage, in the crook of a Steinway & Sons Piano, singing Mozart and Quilter. I felt so at home, so in my niche, and so eager to do this as a career.

With singing, it’s alway been hard to decide if I wanted to do it as a career or just a hobby. When I was about twelve, this was the time that High School Musical became all the rage, I realized that singing was actually cool. I had always thought of it as the nerdy, artsy thing to do (which I am totally okay with now, not when you’re an awkward twelve). High School Musical changed the opinions of acne-faced pre-teens across America, and that changed me.

Yet, it wasn’t until about six months ago that I really committed to the degree, Vocal Performance that is. My parents will vouch when I say I am still not entirely sure. For now, however, I am entirely sure. There’s something different about this degree than any other degree I could see myself doing: aspiration. I have considered so many careers, but what I have realized is that none of them have an aspiration. Performance is something that I aspire to be the best I can be at. I sometimes do not want to perform because I don’t like presenting something that is not my full capability, unlike other things that I simply just want to do “good enough” on. I have a dream, a vision, and a goal. And I believe in it. I believe it so much that as I begin to think about the days when that dream comes to pass, I am overjoyed and almost begin to weep (which is rare for me, ha).

Aspiration is the key. You have to want to move forward. Some things stay east and west. But the greatest go north. Move forward. Dream big. And aspire to something greater than yourself, all while staying in the crook of a steinway.

Goal or Limitation

When setting goals and deciding what to do in life I often have a negative spin on the situation at hand. Instead of thinking of what I could accomplish by setting a goal, I think of what I could I accomplish outside of that goal. I tend to think of goals and focus as limits on my potential and while sometimes this can be true, often it is not. Is the real issue my lack of self-confidence? Is it my desire to do something else, and not having the risk taking guts? Or, could it simply be the reality of not wanting to work hard and aim for something, in fear that success will not be achieved. All I can say is the road gets fuzzier as I walk further down. Analyzation only leads to the desire to go with my “gut” and my “gut” only leads to wanting to check and make sure it’s really the right choice which leads to me to be the lonely kid on the teeter-totter in a park of dismay.

The only way to escape this park is to cry out the One who can give me all the answers and who can join me on my teeter-totter. He is the only one who can comfort me and give me direction. And although it is often hard to hear His voice, it is the voice of peace and assurance, that, while difficult in times of waiting, is rewarding in times of discovery. And so, I wait…. with conflicting thoughts, desires and feelings slowly beginning to receive the answer… the answer He knew all along…the answer He already told me long, long ago.